Friday, August 17, 2012
Away from the winding road . . .
For the last year, I feel as though I have been on long and winding road, learning more about God, establishing a closer relationship with Him and discovering where He wants to take me next on the journey.
How I got here; a little testimony:
I had been blessed to be involved in MOPS (for more information, see mops.org) since my oldest son was 4 years old in 2000. Since then, I became involved in MOPS group leadership, leading the original group I joined, then starting a new MOPS group at my home church. From that step, I was encouraged to apply and was accepted for MOPS field leadership where I had opportunity for mentoring, leading and training other MOPS moms in my local area and parts of Texas. It was awesome! I could still be a part of the ministry I loved, even though I had "outgrown" eligibility in a traditional MOPS group (my youngest started Kindergarten in the fall of 2008) I knew that I was on the right road, and using my gifts and talents for my real calling! I happily attended trainings and conventions, plus enjoyed the camaraderie with other Texas leaders. I loved connecting with other women, and I especially loved preparing and speaking to moms and MOPS leaders.
In the spring of 2010, things changed. My passion for MOPS (as well as other responsibilities) vanished, and I fell into a dark period of depression. I pushed through my responsibilities for MOPS, but there was no more passion for what I was doing. As a result, I retired from MOPS leadership, since my heart was not in my real calling any longer. At the time I wasn't sure it was the right thing to do, but I had realized that I didn't have the energy or ability to function in that position that way that was expected of me.
Originally, I had gotten involved in MOPS because I wanted to be the best mom I could be and use my skills to help others. Now I saw myself as just a stay at home mom without any mission other than raising my kids, who were both in school. I fell deeper in depression, and while I managed to put on a good facade around other people, I made life miserable for my family.
After several weeks of misery, my sweet husband finally confronted me about how bad my mood swings, excessive sleeping and overall rotten disposition had become and how it was damaging our marriage. He went with me to our family doctor, and with support, I was able to get back on track. (I will speak more about this journey in the future.)
Since that time, it has been almost two years of "recovery." I have learned more about Jesus, made repairs in my relationship with Him, and clearly discovered the direction He wants me to go! The result? The dream that I thought I was fulfilling with MOPS, was only just a portion of the pie! God didn't take my dream away from me -- He only redirected me. Helping other women will still be the ministry, but God has pushed me to develop a bigger dream: going on my own to speak, write and lead, building communities of women who in turn help other women.
I hope you will visit here often and be a part of the journey I'm taking with Jesus. I want to share with you, so that you can share with others. It's exciting, and I am in anticipation of what the road ahead will be like!
Written by Angie Vallejo