6 Ways to Start Living in the Present
I recently
wrote about 9 signs that tell if you are too
future-focused instead of living for the present moment. Instead of trying to control the future ourselves
(which we can’t), we can trust God to show us the path of life we should take, (1) one that
will design a future with peace, joy, and fulfillment. The company Allstate
says, “You are in Good Hands” – but in this case, you are in God’s good
hands!
Being too
future-focused distracts us from really living in the moment; however, so does
dwelling on our past.
We all carry
baggage, some of it heavier than others. It may have been a rough childhood or some
type of abuse (physical or emotional). Maybe wounds from a relationship. Past hurts
can show themselves today by decisions we may make and emotions we experience. It
can feel like we’re stuck when the past dictates our present.
That feeling
of being stuck is a distraction from living well today. In the book, When the Past Won’t Let You Go, Counselor
and author H. Norman Wright says that if we wonder why we waste so much
time not living in the present, it’s because we are distracted by the “there
and then rather than the here and now.” (2)
We can’t let
our past overtake how we want to live today or put the past in place until it’s
reconciled.
Past hurts keep
us from experiencing joy and peace in the present. We must reconcile the past
because we can’t change it. The past is a silent companion that accompanies us
wherever we go. (3) If it
isn’t a good companion, it’s time to change your relationship with it.
This
is when counseling or therapy is a best practice – professionals can provide support and tools to help you
heal and move forward. They help you navigate difficult memories and how to
change your responses to them. The past is seen differently; each memory is only
a chapter of the larger story, the one lived today.
Even as we work on making peace with our past, we must steer
our minds to the present. How? By focusing on what is happening around you and who is
around you.
6 Ways to Start Living in the Present
1. Make a
point of expressing gratitude. This may seem cliché, yet it’s been shown that gratefulness
for what we have and experience has
its benefits: emotional, social, personality, career, and health. Ralph
Waldo Emerson, an American essayist and philosopher, says this about gratitude:
“Cultivate the habit of being
grateful for every good thing that comes to you,
and to give thanks continually. And because all things have contributed
to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”
Giving
thanks continually comes from the apostle Paul’s letter to the ancient Thessalonian
church. He reminds the people there to “rejoice always, pray continually, and
give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ
Jesus. (4) Through this practice, the Thessalonians were
able to get through numerous hardships, including persecution from their own
people because of their faith.
2. Create spontaneity
for fun and relaxation. While it sounds like a contradiction, sometimes we need to make a
reason to get active today, to “seize the moment” or “stop to smell the
flowers.” Change your outlook by spending some time
outdoors. Grab a friend or your kids and be a tourist in your
hometown. Surprise your family by serving breakfast for dinner.
3. Intentionally
connect with people around you. We may be in contact with people all day, but that doesn’t
mean there is connection. That comes from giving personal attention to someone.
If you feel
disconnected from someone, consider past conversations. Do you continually “talk
it out” or vent about your past to your spouse or friends? Even while
empathetic, they may begin to withdraw from you because of the negativity. Improving
your relationships may mean concentrating more on listening and less on talking.
Take a
moment today to arrange a time to reconnect with a friend over coffee this week.
Make a point to speak to the person checking out your groceries, whether a
compliment or observation. Now post-pandemic, return to clubs, pick up hobbies,
and volunteer.
4. Spend time
helping others. Nothing
brings you into the present more than helping someone and learning their story.
Volunteer with a charity
in your area. Not only will you serve others who need
aid, but it’s an opportunity to connect with other volunteers.
This was another
lesson Paul taught churches in ancient times: “Encourage the disheartened, help
the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for
wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and everyone else.” (5) Also be compassionate to each other “so
that we can help others who have all kinds of troubles, using the same help
that we ourselves have received from God. (6) You may have been through some tough times, but from
your experiences, you can be an inspiration to someone else.
5. Purposefully
connect with family.
We may be busy daily with our kids’ schooling and activities or watching TV
with the spouse at night, but that isn’t real connection. That takes
thoughtfulness and purpose.
How can you show
your family they are loved and appreciated? When has your family last done
something together that created laughter, fun, and relaxation? (If you have
younger children, get ideas by reading the 6 Steps to More
Family Connection at Family Life.)
6. Join a
support group. Even
if you are getting help from a counselor, attending a support group is
valuable. One such group is Celebrate Recovery,
no matter what “hurts, hang-ups, and habits” you may have. Support groups provide
a safe space to share struggles and improvements.
Can you share what you
do to keep your mind in the present instead of dwelling on the past? Support
each other by posting below.
References:
1. Psalm 16:11
2. When the Past Won't Let You Go, H. Norman Wright, (2016) p. 8
3. Ibid, p. 13
4. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
5. 1 Thessalonians 5:14-15
6. 2 Corinthians 1:4b
Hello Angie, I love your list on ways to stay present. I usually start with gratitude as you suggested. I have been practicing being grateful for the good, the bad, and the ugly, and that is helping me accept the past/future and stay in the present. Thank you for sharing. Sending love. Jaime
ReplyDeleteThese are fabulous suggestions to start living in the present. I also use gratitude, affirmations, and mindfulness. I like your suggestions for being social. Great work!
ReplyDelete